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[03 Jul 2010|08:00pm] |
hey lj, been awhile!
no news is good news. got alot of sun today, played softball for alex's birthday. was great times will have to do it again. got an infield homerun lol. life moves on and i'm stuck scrambling to keep up and deciding if I need to fight the tide.
Oh, warped tour in 27 days!
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| Hi journal |
[17 Sep 2009|06:19pm] |
Been busy with nothing for the most part. Went down to part time at work and been busy with school. I finally decided what my end goal is with school now, I've been thinking of becoming a pharmacist, its alot of school but it really pays off at the end (literally). I'd get to help people, not work alot of hours, and make pretty good money. The only problem with it is that its real hard to get into the university of minnesota's graduate program for the thing and thats the only place in the state where you can get it. All in all its 7 years of school, which means I'll be 30 when I start my life. LoL. Three cheers for 5 years!
Joe and TJ have both moved out of state and I lost all the constant friends I had around me over the summer. joe moved to missouri with jesse and TJ to virginia. I still talk to both of them everyday. I'm finally enjoying being alone. Even though it took me most of my life to get to this point. Looking forward to playing more guitar, I bought joe's PA from him so he didn't have to pawn it off. I still wanna someday form a bar cover band, maybe when I have all that extra free pharmacist time lol.
I've been hanging out quiet a bit with lydia and micky moy at school oddly enough, just shows your never too old to go back to school.
Been thinking of getting a mockingbird tattoo in my arm, going to lose more weight again first. Now that I've kicked the smoking habit, (something I probably shoulda never started but for those 5minutes I was able to feel completely numb and forget about everything that had happened) and lost the appetite that you gain when you quit (they say you put on 10pounds; thankfully I gained ~5 if any). i've started working out again, only mildly right now but I wanna lose another 15pounds by christmas.
Brand New is coming to concert here in abit. Other then warped tour I haven't been to a concert since Anberlin/Taking Back Sunday a few months ago. TJ and Janie supposed to be coming. Of all of TJs girlfriends Janie has been the only one I liked at all.
Off to shower and make some phone calls!
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[11 Aug 2009|02:26pm] |
Hi lj! Its been little over a month!
No news is good news like always!
School starts in 2 weeks at ditchwater, i'm stoked to be going back! joe moves down to Missouri in a few weeks, I'm going to miss that kid =( =( =(. Who knows if he ends up staying down there I might be going down with him in a year or two, I wanna get one rock solid year in just to make me look good on paper for college. Been playing guitar over the last few days and i cut way back on my smoking. i'm buying joe's PA from him, not that I ever have any plans to ever sing but a PA isn't a bad thing to have just in case. Time to finish cleaning room then practice "Bedroom Talk" by starting line.
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[19 Mar 2009|05:19am] |
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i'm never going to grow up, i'm only going to grow old
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[13 Feb 2009|01:37am] |
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[04 Feb 2009|04:30am] |
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Its 4:30 AM so I'll post tomorrow.
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[20 Jun 2008|07:32pm] |
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Well; kari isn't talking to the parents tonight. Dad was gone anyway; however I did talk to my mom about me dating kari. She said "I guess I don't really hate kari, I just don't like how she leans on you and plays with your emotions. Before her you were a really happy person, I just want to see you happy. You need to have a strong personality and life before you start dating" I like how she leans on me. Hate how she toys with my emotions. Haha.
Juddy is coming over and us three are going to make pies and do some grilling. I'm really looking forward to seeing her tonight for some reason tonight.
I'm down around 10 pounds from when she cheated on me; not bad for a week and a half. Going to start running again this saturday I think (tomorrow). Took the test for ridgewater today; college level reading level (no surprise) like 150 level english; and like 98 level math. Ouch. Considering I'm thinking engineering that 98 level math is going to hurt. Going to take alot of math to even get to where I'll need to be for something like Duluth. Regestering for classes in like 2-3 weeks. Hope anything decent is still left.
I'm going to see if I can get target to take me off of leave of absence and transfer me down to target in hutchinson; however I need day time work now with school coming up. =)
First time in almost 2 weeks I've felt generally happy without a big shadow over my shoulder.
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| Falls to Pieces With No Choice |
[20 Jun 2008|12:51am] |
I didn't post in here for 6 months because I didn't want kari to know how much I really thought of her on a daily basis; or even what I thought of her. But I guess in the end it didn't amount to shit.
We're giving it another shot but I dunno; half the time the sparks missing. It truly is amazing how such a tiny little thing can ruin a relationship. She made me roll her windows down in her car tonight; I was shaking by the end of it. Tomarrow she wants to talk/meet the parents; we'll see how that goes. The tiniest little comment can turn my stomach into knots and make me feel like throwing up. I just want to know that it will all be worth it in the end. Half the time I think of her I accidently think "She cheated" right after and it ruins the feeling I had 10minutes ago. An emotional cutter in the end I guess.
Taking the placement test at ridgewater tomarrow afternoon at 1:30. I'm a little worried; going to have my mom drill/refresh my memory on fractions.
A song thats stuck in my head.
Hit the Lights - Sincerely Yours.
Wake up and let go
Of these feelings that I've had for you
It's easier said than done
So give up (give up) and let go (let go)
Of these feelings that I've had for you
Why couldn't you be the one?
'Cause it's a guilty pleasure
Deciding whether you were ever mine or not
But the truth's apparent
That you weren't ever mine to start
What will it take to make you understand that I
I'm not lying when I say I need you
What will it take to make you understand that I
I'm not lying when I say I need you
So don't close your eyes
Every night I kept you up
I never once heard you say stop
But right now I wish I had
I wish I had the nerve to tell you that I'm a wreck
But what really did you expect?
You never listened to what I said to you (what I said to you)
'Cause it's a guilty pleasure
Deciding whether you were ever mine or not
But the truth's apparent
That you weren't ever mine to start
What will it take to make you understand that I
I'm not lying when I say I need you
What will it take to make you understand that I
I'm not lying when I say I need you (I need you)
Now this broken shell of a boy
Falls to pieces with no choice
At the sound of her voice he falls apart
Now this broken shell of a boy
Falls to pieces with no choice
At the sound of her voice he falls apart,
He falls apart, he falls apart, he falls apart...
What will it take to make you understand that I
I'm not lying when I say I need you
What will it take to make you understand that I
I'm not lying when I say I need you
I need you
--------------------------
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[16 Jun 2008|06:34pm] |
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mood |
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Still not ready to say what I want to on here; I'm just going to say that I'm still being hard and making things difficult on myself. Part of me wants to get the hell away and stop hurting myself the other part wants things back how they were even though I know its not possible.
In the end I take a step foward and step backward on all regards.
All I want is to go through a day without dying from thinking about it. There hasn't been a day in which I haven't cried in almost a week.
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[25 Jan 2008|06:52am] |
Been pretty busy with work and sleep last few days. Joe's been sick for most of the last few days so i'm trying to avoid getting whatever him and cole have.
I'm becoming fairly popular at work I guess now adays lol. Chad keeps trying to get me to go out to the bar with him, becky invited me to go with her and michelle next weekend, theres a newer girl called katrina that i think is cute even if she's really short. Joni told me I'm suppose to be her valentine lol, i asked her if i had to buy anything she said just condoms lol; last year I was kaitie's valentine even if we didnt do anything. They call me calico at work, or at least some of them do.
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[19 Jan 2008|01:19pm] |
heading off to davins for a wow lan party, i'm stoked. should be really fun we got 2 people from the world of warcraft guild up from out of state.
hey mrs lasahnn is there lol.
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[16 Jan 2008|10:33am] |
Good times.
The last 2 weeks have been fairly unproductively productive. Haven't really done anything special but it just feels for some reason I have.
I need to quit that fucking game. Burning all my hours into it again.
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[06 Jan 2008|08:32pm] |
Slept.
Played WoW.
Cleaned.
Played WoW.
Did Laundry.
Played WoW.
Made Food.
Played WoW.
Did more Laundry
Played WoW.
Went to Work.
Sounds like a productive day!
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[30 Dec 2007|12:27pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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A list of songs I wanna learn.
Sweet Talk 101 - Cute is What We Aim For
Great Romances of the 20th Century - TBS
Sic Transit Gloria Fades - Brand New
The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot (acoustic) - Brand New
Hidden Acoustic Track (acoustic lol) - Hit the Lights
Lucky St. - Cartel
Learn all the lyrics for the acoustic ones.
Give em hell boi.
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[20 Dec 2007|04:47pm] |
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Another day another dollar. Its almost 5o clock and I've done jack shit all day. Time to start, I think I'ma go do a load of laundry, then take a shower and either go on to guitar from then or go get something to eat. Even though we have a little food in the fridge and a ton of meat in the freezer I'd still rather go out to eat.
Katie said she'd learn the violin for a yellowcard song I wanna cover. "Avondale" heh, should be fun, I love old yellowcard for some reason.
I need a haircut.
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[12 Dec 2007|02:24pm] |
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I hate.
I hate preppies
I hate hypocrites
I hate selfishness
I hate fighting
I hate that sinking feeling in your gut when your nervous
I hate living through my friends instead of myself
I hate being bitter
I hate writting people off
I hate being quiet
I hate when I'm not listened to
I hate being empathetic
I hate being sensitive
I hate how I love everybody
I hate not knowing who I want to be
I hate not being who I should be
I hate how sunken in my eyes are
I hate not being able to sing
I hate not being good enough at guitar
I hate not being good enough
I hate always being second best
I hate how I'm always there for everyone else, but no ones there for me when I need them
I hate haters (lol, couldn't resist)
I hate how I don't write down my inspirations when I get them
I hate how I could fall for absolutely anybody
I hate people who won't help themselves
i hate.
Joe got another tatoo, the next day ambur got another one. I don't really like either persons newest tatoos, even though joe's is extremely detailed and artsy (its a 17th century(ish) muzzle loader pistol) ambur got one with eighth notes colered in by her wrists, i asked her like twice if she was sure, any tatoo thats hard to hide I don't think I could live with.
I think I'm going to get a tatoo, I was thinking "LOVE" in bold black block letters on my lower side if I finish losing the weight. Kind of just below my left boob behind my stomach hair. I think it would be sweet ven after its faded. If I do start getting all these tatoos I'm sticking with all black. Real simple and meaningful to me even if they're not to other people.
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| Sleep work sleep work |
[04 Dec 2007|08:58am] |
Sleep work sleep work..
Need to pick up my paycheck, hopefully doing it this afternoon. Then need to open a checking/savings account at wellsfargo.
I still owe cole for rent and I haven't paid my student loan yet this month, its a day late, rent is 4 days.
Watched the first episode of Beck the day before yesterday, I think I might end up buying the whole series, seemed pretty good, but then when they translate they usually kill the anime, fan subs are always better; more of a direct translation and they explain things in notes. Its about a 14 year old japanese boy who's life changes when he meets this foreign exchange studen from america who plays the guitar lol.
Its snowing again. i'm sick of shoveling. My car is so bad in winter it worries me.
Sleep work sleep work..
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[17 Nov 2007|08:29pm] |
Mixed feelings today.
My Takamine dried out and cracked, good thing its still under warranty.
Got my lip pierced, starting to hurt like a mother.
Got work tonight, but tomarrow off.
I'm sick of not taking risks, my entire life I've not done things because I've been too busy talking myself out of it. I'm sick of it and I'm done of not acting because I'm afraid of what the out come is going to come out of it.
I hope to be down another 20 pounds by new year.
At least with the lip ring I can't eat. lol.
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[16 Nov 2007|09:08pm] |
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I think about posting here daily, I actually do it bi weekly.
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[11 Nov 2007|09:09am] |
Ding 21.
Donno what I think yet.
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